Hotbovine Valentine's Day Cards! While Hotbovine is not specifically too romantically inclined, we like to throw out a bone once in a while for the social retards, misfits and miscreants that accidentally come to our site, looking for porn. So we've taken the time to put together a few Valentine's cards which address the broad range of romantic modes we find in the 21st Century. We hope these cards will ease your disconsolate hearts. Happy Valentine's Day! Vanilla: Darling, I would like to give you chocolates and flowers, Buy you a nice meal And lay you on your back To dutifully perform coitus. Because I love you. Happy Valentine's day!   Valentine, I am looking forward to having missionary sex with you within the sacred bounds of holy wedlock on this officially sanctioned day of romance, St. Valentine's Day. Once again, we will debunk the myth of the so-called "Female Orgasm."       Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, Sodomy's for homos, and Palestine's for Jews.       Vanilla with a twist: Dear one, Happy Valentine's Day. Size doesn't matter, especially tonight, darling. Because I intend to insert all manner of oddities into each and every one of your orifices.   Darling, This Valentine's Day, together with you, I want to explore what love is really all about. Will you change my soiled diaper?   Beloved: Tonight I want to lose myself in your eyes. I want to gaze upon the soft, sublime contours of your visage. On this special night I will dedicate myself entirely to you and only you. And your sister. Homoracial: Dearest, I'm not a racist, I assure you. And It's not that I fear race mixing. I'm just thinking of the children. This world is still so prejudiced. And that's why, even though I watch a lot of interracial porn, I'm more comfortable fucking members of my own race. Happy Valentine's Day!   Interracial: My love, Just because my parents don't trust you alone in our house because they think you'll steal something, doesn't mean I don't love you. Happy Valentine's Day.   Baby, You're as sweet as sugar and as delicious as pie.You've made me happier than I've ever been before, and each day with you is a joy. It's hard to believe your ancestors murdered Jesus Christ.     Today, just this one special day, Can we please celebrate our love for one another, And forget about the damn jihad?       Secret Admirer: Oooh, I wanna lick ya, lick ya, lick ya! Happy Valentine's day!     Dear co-worker, As you read this, please know that my dick was in your coffee this morning. Happy Valentine's Day.     Pyro-sexual:   Beauteous flame--for you? Haiku: Where there is smoke, there is fire and where there is fire there is my jism.     Lover, Tonight, I don't want to make love to you next to a fire.I want to make love to you in a fire.     Sextarded: I like cheese! And ping pong! Do you like cheese too? Yay! Please blow me! And be my Valentine!   Hi! I can't find my pencil! Tomorrow's Career Day! That's Beethoven music! I can't find my pencil! Happy Valentine's Day!         Interspecies:   Valentine, It's not your hooves or your mane or your sleek chestnut coat that I love. It's not your affinity for carrots, sugar cubes and apple slices. It's your massive horse cock, which nearly tears me limb from limb when you mount me. Be mine!       Dear Hamster, I know this card will eventually be shredded and torn up into the excelsior that lines your cage. But today, simply enjoy nibbling on a carrot and running on your little wheel. Because tomorrow, I'm putting you back up my ass.