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 Dumpster Diving "The Wedding Crashers"
By Skeeter "Hot-n-Crazy" Monroe
After I wrapped my feet in newspaper and brought my bottles to the re-cycling on Wednesday, I went and seen them Wedding Chasers.
I sat down right in the front row like usual and I ate me a whole bag of sunflower seeds during the previews. I started drinking my cherry wine from a Gatorade bottle. Then I got to itching something terrible in my crotch while I waited and that made a mess with all them sunflower seeds and popcorn in my pants.
By and by the movie started and that Vince Vaughn, he a real fast talker. So I took to telling him to slow it down. I told him and I told him, but he wouldn’t listen, so I stood up and told him real loud. Then I starts hearing them snakes slithering and talking about Willie Nelson in my mind again, so I sit down quiet like for a while till they stopped.
And what in the hell happened to that other boy’s nose? Look like he got busted upside the head with a ham.
Them boys, they went to some weddings and seen many pretty girls and in my opinion, weddings is the best dumpster diving a body can find.
I didn’t like the fast talking and I didn’t like the part when they used them fake purple hearts to get them girls.
I did like all them titties the boys seen though. And it ain’t as bad as Superman 4. So I give this movie 3 bottles of wine out of five.
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