Welcome to the Hotbovine Superbowl Odds Sheet.  We’ll give you the odds on stuff those other sites are too afraid to cover!  So step right up and place your bets!

John Madden Odds

John Madden says the word “sycophant” – 2:1

John Madden says the word “ghetto-fabulous: – 3:1

John Madden recites the lyrics to Young MC’s “Bust a Move” in their entirety – 76:1

Halftime Show Odds

Prince has a “wardrobe malfunction” – n/a (Prince’s wardrobe is by definition a malfunction)

Prince doesn't show a nipple – 1.5:1

Prince brings back the assless pants – 1.25:1

Prince jams with Judas Priest – 600:1

Prince and Rob Halford sing an a-capella duet – 4,000:1

Prince and Judas Priest play a medley of “Purple Rain/You’ve Got Another Thing Coming/ Raspberry Beret/Hellbent for Leather/ There's No Business Like Show Business” – 17,000:1

Prince's penis pops out – 2:1

Prince’s entire cock and balls come out – 10:1

Prince teabags Walter Cronkite – 50,000:1

Barbaro rises from grave, Prince fellates his rotting equine phallus – 20,000,000:1

As above, during "When Doves Cry" – 40,000,000:1

As above, during a cover of the Doors' "Riders on the storm" – 60,000,000:1

As above, with Ray Manzarek on keyboards – 80,000,000:1

As above, while also fellating an undead Jim Morrison – 300,000,000:1

Game Odds

NY Mets win Superbowl over Chicago Bears – 400,000,000,000:1

NY Mets win Superbowl over Indianapolis Colts – 20:1

Chicago Bears play entire second half in ice skates, beat Colts by 14 – 375,000:1

Miscellaneous Odds

2007 “American Idol” winner is a gay male – 2:1

Next season of “The Sopranos” is a bit of a letdown – 1.5:1

Earth is completely ravaged by “Subway vs. Quiznos” wars by 2015 – 20:1

Dolphin holds a seat in the US senate by 2099 – 5:1

A German elementary school student discovers a cure for pubic lice – 750:1