Who Can We Hate?  Michael Richards, Mel Gibson and even Borat are full of hatred—and people of good will are rightly incensed by it! Most Americans at least aspire to rise above bigotry. But intolerance sometimes appears in all of us. And in our diverse culture, everyone’s wondering: Who can we still hate? While Hotbovine opposes all discrimination, if you must loathe some group you could do worse than choose one of these. Hutts: George Lucas, sci-fi’s premier purveyor of stereotypical bigotry, has never once portrayed a Hutt (ie: Jabba the Hutt) in a positive light. Even Mel Brooks got in on the Hutt-bashing act in Space Balls with "Pizza the Hutt." So go ahead and scorn them. They live in a galaxy far, far away and they’ll never catch on anyhow.      Insects: Thanks to PeTA, everybody now knows that cute animals are NEVER TO BE HARMED FOR ANY REASON. However, gross insects like cockroaches and bed bugs are unutterably icky. Abhor at will.  Leprechauns: Pot o’ gold? Where the fuck is it? Lying, drunken, Irish bastards.   The Poor: Black? Hispanic? White? Homeless? Teachers? It makes no difference. America loves a winner and, by extension, America hates losers. So go ahead and despise the poor. They’re defenseless and despicable. What can they do to you? Nothing, that’s what.    Corporations or Communists: Opposite sides of the economic and political coin: If you’re a leftist, you believe corporations control and corrupt everything. If you’re a right winger, you fear scary 1950’s style Communists who want to destroy your private property and socialize everything. Choose sides, then choose your enemy. The French: In the popular mind, these cheese eating surrender-monkeys are so arrogant that they’re impervious to your detestation. And they’re still one of the richest countries in the world, so they couldn’t care less. You may as well.  Bus Drivers: Ralph Kramden was a prick, as are all of his brethren. Name one fucking bus driver you ever gave a shit about. Yeah. We thought so.      Trans Fats: We’re not talking about gender-bending plus sizes like Divine here, folks. These tiny, deadly unsaturated fats cause all kinds of problems. Aunt Bonnie’s heart attack, Uncle William’s stroke and Grandpa’s exploding colostomy bag? All trans fat related. Never mind that your family is morbidly obese. It was trans fats that done them wrong.  The Sith: To no-one’s surprise, hate-monger George Lucas has vilified another entire class of beings, this time on religious grounds. The Sith are persecuted for their adherence to the Force. It’s just not the kind of Force that Lucas happens to like is all.   Mexican Mennonites: National Public Radio is the only thing worth listening to if you can’t afford satellite radio these days, like us. (See "The Poor," above) Recently, NPR alerted us to the presence of Mennonites in Mexico. Who knew they existed? Nothing against Mennonites, mind you, but Hotbovine does not like to be surprised. Lawyers: Does this actually require explanation? The Media: Whether you’re a lefty-pinko-commie-tree-hugging feminazi or a right-wing-flag-waving-Christian-supremacist-facist-militia man, the Media’s got a politically biased network, publication or pundit for you to detest. Knock yourself out.    White People: These stringy-haired, wet- dog-smelling devils, created by the evil scientist Yakub, are still the most powerful group on earth. They wear your loathing as a badge of honor, just like fans of the New York Yankees. And if honky, cracker, peckerwood, white devil, ofay, round-eye, and gaijin are the most offensive terms available, their general feeling on being slurred is "Those are pretty amusing. Do your worst."  The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea: Not to be confused with the long-suffering, ill-fated people of North Korea, this nut-job government’s comic potential is only surpassed by its actual apocalyptic danger level. Scary as all hell and the only state power likely to cause a nuclear holocaust. They’ve earned your fear and horror. Now give it to them.      Satanists: It is wrong to persecute people of other faiths. Unless that faith is Satanism. Or the dark side of the Force. (See The Sith, above—thank you very much, George Lucas.) Terrorists: Whether you mean "state terrorists" as defined by Noam Chomsky and others, sectarian terrorists like Catholic and Protestant groups in Northern Ireland or fanatical killers like Osama bin Laden, the name’s the thing: once you label them, you’re free to despise them.  Orcs: Creators and fans of sci-fi and fantasy have a lot in common; notably: A) their inability to create meaningful human relationships, particularly of the sexual variety and B) their ability to broadly condemn entire races of beings as "evil." George Lucas (see above) is the greatest fanatical bigot sci-fi & fantasy ever produced, but J.R.R. Tolkien was not far behind with his evil Orcs. Do Orcs not bleed when they are cut? Do they not have families whom they love? Must we deplore them? Yes. We must.      The Game: Damn, son. You should know by now. Don't hate the playa. Hate The Game.  Lemurs: We here at Hotbovine are just sick and fucking tired of these goddamn Lemuriformes and their whole prosimian class of primates. Fuck ‘em. BACK TO HOTBOVINE