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 The Dukes of Hazzard
Reviewed by Josh Hurwitz (age 8 and ½)
Last yesterday I went to see a new movie called "The Dukes and Hazzard." It’s about two men who drive a car called "The Generally." They drive around the South. It takes place during the Civil War. The car is orange. What about the flag on the top? The Union Jack! Show off that intellect of yours, Josh!—Ed.
This was my favorite Civil War movie so far. The other ones I have seen already are "Glory," "Saving Private Ryan," and "Rattle and Hum," with U2.
The reason "The Dukes and Hazzard" was better than these movies was because it taught you more about the Civil War than those movies did. Everybody knows that the Civil War was in the 1800s. They didn’t even have black people then! That’s why "Glory" was stupid. Also, "Saving Private Ryan" had Tom Hanks, who isn’t old enough to be in the Civil War. "Rattle and Hum" was OK I guess, except for B.B. King because there weren’t any black people then! Duh! Irish people are kind of stupid too, come to think of it. This isn't necessary. I know you get paid by the word--stop padding!
In "The Dukes and Hazzard" Bo and Luke Duke jump their orange car over a creek. Cooter is a mechanic and Uncle Jesse is their uncle. And Boss Hogg is the boss of the hogs. They fight a lot. That was the Civil War, the Hogs vs. the Dukes. I am glad the Dukes won. I don’t know why, but Uncle Jesse had braids and a beard. That gave me a bad dream. Very moving. Revealing personal comment!
There’s also Daisy Duke. I had a dream about her too that night. She was carrying me around through a car wash and my special place was rubbing up against her. Then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. But I didn't have to pee. And the place under my bird hurt a lot. Then it was hard to go back to sleep. Because I knew my older sister Becca was taking us to the car wash the next day. Perhaps too revealing.
I think "The Dukes and Hazzard" is a great movie that teaches you about the Civil War.
Nice review, Josh. We’ll process your invoice this week. I believe we agreed on the fee of $10.00/word, right? That comes up to $3,500 for this one.
PS: When can you get us that "Aristocrats" review?
PPS: Is your sister single?
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