Back to Movie Reviews     INVINCIBLE Reviewed by Vince Neil (lead vocalist of Motley Crüe) The other day the Hotbovine dudes emailed me to ask if I'd review a movie for their website. I was like fuck yeah! Vince Neil loves going to the movies! When I go I make a big fucking splash. I take two strippers and like 25 of those big North Face parkas that the brothers wear to "save" a whole row of seats. When people ask, "Is this seat taken?" I point to the coats and I'm like, "Fuck yeah! By a big black brother who will definitely fuck you up, dude!" Then me and my girls have the whole row. Sweet! The Hotbovine dudes paid $30 for the tickets right to my fucking Paypal account! No change left for concessions, but I buy my shit from the supermarket and sneak it in. Vince Neil don't pay no fucking $10 for gummy worms! I was stoked to go see this movie as an actual reviewer so I did it up right. I dug out the leather outfit I wore for "Shout at the Devil." Dudes, I looked the balls. It was a little tight when I put it on, cuz I put on a few pounds since those days with all the booze and Cheez-its and shit, but I squeezed in there after huffing and puffing and holding my breath. Anyhow, me, Crystal, Heather and the jackets had the whole middle row. The movie starts and I was bugging out because the guy Marky Mark plays in the movie is named Vince! I was like "Far out!" So, he's like a bartender in Philly or some other place in Jersey and he's named Vince (I'm still freaking out about that). He really wants to be a football player, but he's old. But the local team sucks so bad they hold open tryouts and he goes. I don't want to spoil the big surprise but HE MAKES THE TEAM!   This is where shit got heavy for me. I started imagining, like, what if I was just a dude in the Valley delivering pizzas, and The Crüe had an open audition because their singer died in a dune buggy crash or something? And what if I fucking killed in the audition and made it? Dudes, I love the Crüe, but I think I'd love it a thousand times more if I got in that way. I didn't really follow the rest of the movie since I was so deep in my own thoughts and because my leather pants were really fuckin' tight and they cut off the circulation to my nads, but my opinion is that this movie is fucking awesome. And if you're name is Vince YOU HAVE TO FUCKING SEE IT! Also the name "Invincible" has "Vince" in it, which I just noticed and which is bad-ass. Rock on, dudes. Hotbovine fucking rules!!! XOXOXO, Vince

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